Latest NewsGreen & Gold Gladiator #9 - Aran "The Baron" Kay (February 01, 2010)
"My name is Maximus Decimus Baronius, Commander of the Armies of the Western Chiltington, General of the Felix Cat Food, loyal servant to the true emperor, Jonathonus Dentius. And I will have my vengeance, in this game or the next. My mates say I look like Alani Gigantius Reevius but I say forsooth, they spake muchas cobblers for I am the Special One".
We shall now tell the tale of the Baron. He's not red for a start. The majority of players we’ve featured in this series have been explosive batsmen (Sleepy), dishy lethal bowlers (Cleaver & Mick) or all round mega stars (Dundee & Sir Peter Jones). Aran “The Baron” Kay fits into none of these categories – well I say he doesn’t, he may have done when he first played.
The Baron first played in the Middle Ages during one of the crusades. We know this because the man has the appearance of a dragon-slayer or a soldier who could single-handedly destroy castle walls brick-by-brick. The long flowing hair, the big grin and these days, the legendary headband which Bruce Springsteen borrows when going on tour. These are part of the fabric of one of the Club’s most reliable players.
Is the Baron any good at cricket? Errr well we’ll let the stats speak for themselves below but the man played for West Chilt. for many years pre-merger. He’s a lion-hearted fellow and has been on the legendary West Chilt Dutch tours in the seventies with all sorts of mythical characters – I’m sure Rob and Jonesy may have been involved. These days, the big man can nearly always be relied upon to bat out for a draw on a Sunday. Indeed when the Baron goes out to bat, he often spends longer getting ready than actually batting as he has to be loaded into his body armour and huge protector by a phallanx of vestal virgins or failing that, Jim and any other strong men lying arond.
Away from the Rec., Aran lives in Pulborough and worked in London up at Victoria on the Lady magazine for many years – “England First & Finest Weekly”, they claim on their website. I’ve never read a copy but hear there are often fascinating insights into the world of ladies. Hmmmmm. So away from the battleground, you couldn't meet a more gentle fellow but get him aroused at your peril on the cricket pitch...
The Baron is now semi-retired but has declared his intention again to play on in 2010. In fact although our warrior had a break from the club for two years after some body reparations, he never lets these manoeuvres get in the way and always come back for more. The Baron is awarded legend status for his manly appearance and his ability to keep coming back when people write him off. More comebacks than Frank Sinatra.
The Baron – Green & Gold Statistics
Seasons at West Chilt & Thakeham: Six so far (2002-2005, 2008-)
Batting: 50 games with a high score of 22 runs against Salfords in August 2004.
Game results: We’ve won 20% of games the Baron’s been involved in – must have been his team mates letting us down.
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