First things first the almighty blogging team, that is Goring and I have a few things we would like to clear up:

Matt has not retired it is just that the blog is proving too taxing on his intellect and having returned to school, it’s all a bit too much for him. However in the words of my bodyguard Arnie “He will be back”. So don’t worry I won’t be boring you for long.

Secondly it was the understanding that the blog for Week 8 was not my responsibility as it was only handed over to me on Wednesday last week. Although I would like to thank Big Bird for the very flattering picture of me which accompanies the blog.

One final thing, an appeal to whoever scores for the 1^st XI, please fill in all the details so I don’t have to put up with Big Bird sending pedantic e-mails about who caught who and the like.

Anyway I find myself recounting yet another superb weekend for the West Chilt and Thakeham Superstars who have lasted a little longer than Stanford’s.

The U16’s or should that be U15’s with a few U14’s got us off to a flying start by thrashing Barns Green and showing that us old timers are not required.  In my absence, captain DBD lost the toss, about the only thing I have done right all season, and we were put in to bat. Now this was our first time batting first all year but that did not stop us from posting a huge total of 180-8 off our 25 overs. Callum “Chanderpaul” Wyatt, Jack “Collingwood” Glover and David “Johnson” Bowen-Davies all retiring, Charlie Reeves managed to somehow lift his beast of a bat off the ground to make a quick fire 28 and the best batsmen in the Chambers family also chipped in! Barns Green were then blown away by the Tornado Jack’s, Hasler and Glover, bowling in tandem and ripping the heart out of the innings with 5 wickets between them. That leaves the seemingly unstoppable U16’s unbeaten all season and lying 2^nd in the table.

The U14’s faced Steyning in the morning and following the tone of the U16’s the evening before set a massive total of 159-9 in their 20 with Ben Miller retiring along with Glover Jnr Jnr who was alleged to have hit a Gaylesque six over cow corner.  Steyning were then castled for 73 with another Hasler taking the spoils, Ben took 5 for 5 from his 4.  This victory leaves the U14’s sitting in 3^rd.

And so to the 1^st XI who could probably have won playing left handed by the sounds of things.  The opponents, if you could call them that, were Bury & West Burton. Captain Toff lost the toss but we were asked to bowl anyway. As I was not present at the game I can only pass on what I heard; Chaloner was apparently the pick of the bowlers with his hard work and tight line allowing wickets to tumble from the other end where Armstrong bowled O.K!!! There was plenty of help from the fielders with a couple of run outs thrown into the mixer. West Chilt then went out to bat, opening with Horatio and Miller who had even decided to bat left handed, despite this Chilt quickly accumulated the necessary runs without the loss of a wicket completing an absolute mincing. Apparently the real action occurred after the game with a highly competitive and entertaining six-a-side game but you will have to ask those involved to recount the action…

I was off playing for the 2^nd’s on account of being a walking wounded which does not bode well for the future! We decided a trip to the seaside was in order and headed down to Worthing.  Things were not always going to plan however when we found ourselves at around about 60-6 with our top order having been destroyed by their only decent player a Sri-Lankan whose action bore a striking resemblance to Malinga the Slinga. Thankfully the young guns fired with Reeves starting a recovery in a partnership worth about 20 along with our better overseas player Bob who was still a bit irritated about the fact that the early collapse had prevented him from having his customary 10 cans of Strongbow before going out to bat. Our other overseas player Dave did not receive his customary dropped catch but was held on the boundary after a bit of juggling, too much T20 watching I think,  on a promising 9!  Bob then carried on the resurgence with David who made a superb 65* and Dlishanesquely carried us through to a respectable total of 184.

This proved to be more than enough against a very weak batting line up that quite simply crumbled under the pressure. There were a few controversies such as when we had their number 4 out stumped off Tolson by the surprisingly watchful Goring behind the stumps however on both occasions the teenaged square leg umpire was slowly falling asleep and missed both appeals and therefore gave them not out. The same batsman then caused another argument or shall we say discussion when he was umpiring at square leg and called a no ball off a moon ball from Sherpa that had a fair bit of altitude when it passed the batsmen at about waist height and had him caught by David at long on. Gee stepped in quickly quoting Paragraph 3 of Rule 42 stating something or another meaning that the batsman was in fact out. He promptly stormed off the ground and threw his bat against the wall that enclosed what was clearly some top secret facility due to the copious amounts of barbed fencing surrounding it. We soon had them 9 down for not very many when they decided to try and bore us all to death by blocking out. They lasted for a while but thankfully with eyelids drooping Tolson finally decided to get nasty and bowled three bouncers followed by a pitched up delivery that caught the batsman on the crease and led to an edge flying towards Steve Ward at slip who took a brilliant low slip catch to finish the game. Whoever advised him to fire the bouncers in must have been a genius…

And so finished a highly successful Saturday with both sides now lying 4^th in their respective leagues.

Sunday saw a double header against Wisborough Green. The U12’s got things off to a flyer, winning by 24 runs with RCP and young Tanner making 28* and 18 respectively and Lawson taking 3-11.

The Sunday side were left to rue what could have been after a narrow defeat to the Green in the afternoon. Things started well enough with Chilt posting 244-6 with Goring, yes Goring, making 95, having been alleviated of his blogging duties and clearly the curtailing effects it has on cricket performance and therefore beating me by one run, which I am sure I will never hear the end of, along with Mick hitting 51 in a partnership of 111. Green unfortunately came out and claimed victory with Robbie Woodman making a massive total of 146* and clearing the ropes to win the game with an over to spare. Jack Hasler and Dan Bullock made their senior debuts and were unlucky not to be part of a winning team and Sean Tavares suffered a revenge attack after the Boks win over the Lions when he found himself on the receiving end of a double team tackle by a couple of drunken villagers.

So that’s it, congratulations if you’ve made it this far and long may the victories continue…